Confessions of her

Hey people.
I guess this post would be an emo post.
Apparently this is going to be an emotional post.

Today, I was supposed to go to church. yes church.
However, I was forced to go out with my mom & dad & neighbours.
Which is like totally pissing me off.
I actually cried because of this.
If do not have to go with them, I could've...
FINISHED NEW BEGINNINGS, GO FOR COMMUNION , & FAMILY DAY.
i'm trying really hard not to cry or scold vulgarities.
but still fkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfk

I did hate my mom for 2 hours.
for forcing me to go with them.

But in the 10 commandments got one is...
Honour your parents.
so how could i hate my mom?

I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.

okay. i feel so bad.
I feel like i totally pangsei Vanessa & Gina.
and like i pang sei god also.
I like so bad. I feel so stupid. so useless.
just like an ass. :~(
I wish that things wouldn't happen like this everytime.
This is like making me feel so bad. ass.
smoking? yes i've thought of it before.
never tired cos i fear cancer.

slashing? yes i've thought of it but...pain la.
tried once like 2 years ago...it didn't work.

crying? that's what i always do right?
Little bit thing cry cry cry. stupid? retarded?

i got a deep cut on my middle finger.
ass. now i got to put plaster...
and it's affecting the way i play erhu.
i didn't cut my fingers on purpose. it was an accident.
i feel that my middle finger still numb de.
then just now bleed also no feeling...
i only know when I felt 'water'.
then the pain started to come...
and 'water' drip down my face.

thank you for the super eary bday prezzies...
auntie ann , auntie lan
Last of all mom & dad.